One more day of painting in the midst of fish and mini suns for our orders to galleries. I still feel guilty when I paint anything but our money-makers, but that's because we are still so in debt, so behind financially. We have been in shock and coming terms with losing the store, but I finally remembered on an emotional level why I didn't fight harder to keep the store after the hurricanes wiped us out.
Markel and I had a spark of realization that if we didn't simplify our lives and create the opportunity to make our original art we might miss out on the opportunity altogether. I can say that I am finally at peace with the fact that we have a different scenario now, that our life is smaller, more manageable, easier and better. We have learned and grown immeasurably from this whole experience and I no longer feel like a victim. I feel like we are fine, that we are stronger and better people. It was touch and go there for a minute, but we've come through it.
As for the painting......I am intending to make the background atmospheric and charged and I am painting it from left to right. My mother has noticed that I am using a lot more white, which is true, a lot of different whites. A very big change for me is using ochres, naples yellow, off-white, browns, since my palette has been pure colors for so many years.
This is a very personal piece for me. The figure at bottom, the middle sister represents so many people that I love, my sister Mary, my daughter Eva (who is an oldest -mine- and a middle -mine and Markel's-), my Great-Aunt Rose (who I didn't know well, but remember as a very rosy-faced woman), but as I am painting I think especially of my Aunt Margie, who I have a very important connection with. She has a talent for seeing the good in people, for being very giving, loving, angelic. She is very loved and admired. She is one of those adults who have a talent for making people feel noticed and understood. When I was a little girl bewildered by life as so many children are by their place in this big mysterious world, she had a talent for being a listener, hearing me, and contributing to my sense of well-being. I owe her a lot and I know a lot of people feel that way about her.